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  • Writer's pictureDr. T

When the unexpected . . .

It is our innate biological drive to try and order and organize the world for ourselves. It is so biologically driven that we do it all the time without even thinking. Imagine how much energy we would expend to make every tiny decision all day long. So our brain protects us from the stress of considering things that are less probable. Our brains create schemas - some sense of order which guide our thoughts, beliefs and expectations as we move through the day. But what happens when something unexpected happens? Something that goes against our schemas. Something that shakes our core beliefs about how things are supposed to go. We feel vulnerable and exposed. We get sad, scared and angry. Sometimes we have trouble sleeping, eating and doing our normal activities. Our sense of safety and security has been challenged and it can be very hard to rebound. But let's not forget, because these are our schemas and thoughts we know what to do. You got it! We must #ReclaimReframeRenew and help ourselves find our balance and equilibrium again. Reclaiming in this instance is very powerful. Reminding ourselves that while we created these schemas they are simply tools. No tool works for every situation. So it's okay to acknowledge that our tool failed us. That doesn't make it a bad tool. It just means it wasn't the correct tool to apply in that situation. This thought process is part of our reframing efforts. It helps us begin to put the pieces back together and either return to our old equilibrium or begin to create a new one if that's what's necessary. It can be difficult when the things our mind creates to protect us betray us. But in the end we have to remember these are our minds, our thoughts, our beliefs and our challenges. That thought should be comforting because we know the only thing we can control is ourselves. So let's do that. Let's begin to remind ourselves that we while canNOT control the situation we CAN control how we look at, process and move through that situation. As we reclaim and then reframe we begin to see a path forward that allows us to renew our sense of comfort and safety in ourselves, our thoughts and the world.

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